The battle at one year...

Most of you know that last January I decided to do my best to get in better shape and lost the weight that has been plaguing me all of my life. For years I have fought with failed new year's resolutions as well as many failed attempts at dieting and exercise. I still have a long way to go but I am happy to say that I ended 2006 25 pounds lighter than when I started. I have included pics from last year and the latest taken. I still can't see much of a difference, but clothes are fitting better and I feel much better than I did last year at this time. These pics don't show much, but they give me something to work from. As I continue the battle this year I'll periodically post more pics as I continue to lose. This may be more of me than you wanted to see and if that is the case I am sorry. Please pray for me and feel free to help hold me accountable. I'll keep up with the journey on the blog along with everything else.

January 06:front view (367lbs)

January 07:front view (342)-I can't see much difference here though

January 06:side view

January 07:side view-this is where I can see the most difference

There's a long way to go, but God is good. I'm off tomorrow to re-up my gym membership!

Double Grrr...

So listening to sports talk radio yesterday to keep up with all things NFL- and of course everything that needed to happen to let the Bengals make the playoffs yesterday happened. Even though the Jets won if Kansas City won and the Broncos lost (which both happened) the Bengals would have been in had they not gotten beat by Pittsburgh. And this i the SECOND week in a row that this happened...so not just GRRR but double GRRR! Oh well, it's just a game and I'll get my football fill today with the bowl games and then THE bowl game next Monday night. Of course then there is the NFL playoffs and the Super bowl which is good but that means...FOOTBALL SEASON IS ALMOST OVER which I hate. Good thing NASCAR begins two weeks after the Super Bowl huh? Okay so I guess I just gave myself away and I officially scream redneck.

I'll always shout WHO-DEY!

Well again this year the Steelers ruined the post season for my Bengals. Last year it was the first round of the playoffs, this year it was for a wild card bid for the playoffs. But that's okay. I still say Who-Dey. I've always been a fan and always will be and .500 isn't bad considering the issues they've had this season and the fact that Marvin Lewis is still building a team. So although an 8-8 season isn't the best, I still say great job guys, although I hate Pittsburgh even more now than ever. I think this will shape up to become a bigger rivalry than the annual battle of Ohio. I will have to say though that if they were going to lose, what a better way than in overtime. Did I mention I hate sudden death overtime? In addition to that, I guess if you are going to lose in overtime, who better to lose to than ex-Buckeye Santonio Holmes. Oh well, it's just a game and not the end of the world.

See you next fall guys! WHO DEY!!!

In-law update

So my mother-in-law redeemed herself. She took Meg to the airport. After talking with Meg a little bit more I found out the real story behind what happened, which I figured was the case. Meg's aunt was telling her mom that she should just have Meg take a cab so she could sleep in since it was so inconvenient (read: she would also have to get up to let her mom back in the house). I would expect this from her aunt so it wasn't a big surprise...after all, her aunt and uncle always make it clear what is inconvenient for them, did I mention our wedding day was inconvenient for them? They even tried to get us to change that date because they would have to make a trip down to Ohio from their summer home in Michigan. So sorry to inconvenience you all.

Okay enough complaining about my in-laws

The year in review...

So everywhere you listen or watch right now you are bombarded with "year in review" shows and lists. Well I am no one famous and not a lot happens in m world, but I thought I would share with you just a few of the things that happened in our lives this last year. Nothing too exciting, but just a little bit of what happened in the McKee household in 2006-since we didn't do a letter with our Christmas cards...

In January I weighed myself for the first time in a long time. I was having some health problems and knew that something needed to change or I was going to drastically shorten my life. So I declared a "new year's revolution" and decided to change my life forever. I weighed in at 367, which was really discouraging since I had never been that heavy in my life. I am proud to say that I end the year at 342. I know it is only 25 but I still consider that a resolution kept. I hope to lose a lot more this year, but a lifestyle change is not easy and it takes time.

In February, mom and dad came down for a couple of weeks and we all got to experience our first Mardi Gras. I had misconceptions about Mardi Gras and what it was like, but we all had a great time. You can read about it in the link above or check out the March archives.

March was the first time I got to put my feet into action (literally) in my weight loss battle and life change. I walked my first 5k here in Pensacola. It was tough, but fun and I really felt a sense of accomplishment when I was done.

May brought a much needed vacation and a few days at Disney in Orlando, but the vacation was interrupted when we had to make an unexpected trip home when grandma passed away.It was tough to say goodbye to her, but I know she is not suffering anymore and is in a better place.

June brought on the big 3-0 and visits from family and friends including my folks, sis and brother-in-law, and my college roomie Phil and his family. Although we didn't get to go deep sea fishing as planned fun was had by all and 30 wasn't so bad after all.

July was a busy month as I had the chance to be camp director for the first time in my life. For not knowing what was doing I think it went pretty well. The result? Definitely made me pull my hair out and resulted in the new look for the summer.

August brought three years of being married to the most beautiful woman in the world and a surprise from God in the form of a dream job for Megan. She had been patiently waiting and hoping to get away from the bank and boy did He deliver. She is now teaching elementary music at Navy Point Elementary here in Pcola. I also walked my second 5k and improved my time from March.

September brought 5k number three as well as two trips home to Ohio. It was all about reunions including getting to see my mentor Rick and attending the 100th anniversary of the first church I served in as well as Meg's 10 year class reunion. We even found time to take the teens to Universal Studios for Rock the Universe in the middle of all of that.

October was a life changing month for me. I decided it was time to fess up and start being real. I was ready to leave the ministry but I asked God for help, and he delivered. My testimony is in the October archives if you want to read it.

Of course in November, America "voted for change," but for us it meant hosting our first Thanksgiving dinner. It turned out great, but I kinda forgot to blog about it, so no link sorry. And of course...who could forget, it was also the month when the Buckeyes shored up their shot at a national title by beating that team up north.

Finally this month. It was awesome. Meg and I both had the chance to participate in Pensacola Winterfest. It was a great chance for Meg to play her flute and get her name out in the city and I got the chance to give tours of downtown and tell corny jokes at the same time (think an amusement park ride where there is a story/dialogue with built in jokes that aren't that great sometimes). We have been praying for ways to get into the community and this was one of those opportunities. I also found out that I am going to get a shot at reality TV in the form of VH1's World Series of Pop culture. Then of course we got to go home for a few days, but now it is back to the grind here in Pensacola.

It has been an interesting year. Nothing too exciting or worthy of a movie, but it was our lives for 2006. I can't wait to see what 2007 holds. May God continue to bless you all, and be safe as you celebrate the beginning of another New Year that God has blessed us with.

God is good!

I love my mother-in-law but...

I love my mother-in-law, but I have to admit I am just a wee bit frustrated with her right now. Meg decided to stay a few extra days in Ohio so she could spend some extra time with her mom and dad. She is flying in tomorrow morning and her mom was supposed to take her to the airport. Well I just got word a little bit ago that her mom is making her take a taxi to the airport in the morning. Megan was crushed and to say the least a bit upset. The only reason she stayed was to be with them...and the way her mom says goodbye...here's 20 bucks for the cab fare. GRRRR!!! The reason why...its just too much of an inconvenience to take her that early in the morning to the airport. I love you too mom...Sheesh!

Merry Christmas to all of you!

Merry Christmas to all of you from Matt and Meg! We love and appreciate you guys and hope that this Christmas is a great one for you!

Christmas thoughts part 2...

Is anyone else bothered by the story of the Little Drummer boy? It has perplexed me for years and honestly I have gotten a little cynical about it as it is not one of my favorite Christmas songs and I have yet to find where it is found in the scriptures. The only thing I can gather about it is that the boy played his drum for Jesus since he had nothing else to offer him. The modern day application (which is a stretch) comes I suppose in that we are to offer Jesus what we can. Funny thing is, it is making its way into manger scenes around the world...when my wife opened the additions to her Jim Shore manger there was a drummer boy in it. I appreciate the challenge, but I think it is getting stretched just a wee bit.

Here is all I could find on the little drummer boy and the story behind it. Anyone know more? Anyone else a little perplexed by it and frustrated that it has made its way into the manger stories today?

Here is the link... http://www.answers.com/topic/little-drummer-boy

Christmas thoughts...part 1

So I have been thinking about the Christmas story as we celebrate with family and friends over the Christmas season. Obviously it is at the center of my whole life since it is the foundation of my faith. But as I was sitting around these past few days and had a little bit of down time and so I thought I would offer this Christmas devotional thought...

Who are you this Christmas? Each of the characters played an important role in the nativity story. So the question is, who are you?

MARY-You could be like Mary-she was chosen to carry the Christ child. She was a young woman who was anointed by God to bring Christ into this world, how awesome is that? When I look at Mary, I think of someone who was willing to accept God's will for her, no matter what. She could have said no I suppose, but she didn't even though she may not have understood the full magnitude of what God was asking her to do, she simply said yes. Am I willing to accept God's call on my life, even when I don't understand the circumstances?

JOSEPH-I think Joseph is sometimes underestimated in the Christmas story. Sometimes he gets looked over. Here is a man that could have very easily chosen to just let Mary go and been on with it. He knew he might have been facing persecution and rumors, but he stuck by her side. He played a support role, one that was very important. He was chosen to be the earthly father of the Messiah. He was beside Mary through everything and chose to support she and Jesus. Sometimes I wonder if we are called to play the role of support. We aren't always the star and that can be discouraging because we all love the spotlight, but Joseph chose simply to play the support role. How awesome is that? Lord help us to be willing to be the support of those who are following your will and are carrying your message to the world.

THE SHEPHERDS-These guys are awesome. I love the shepherds, here are your everyday guys. They lived in the fields with their animals, I am sure they were rough around the edges and probably not really respected in the community. These guys were just simply your average Joe's...but God chose them to be the first ones to proclaim the message of the Messiah. Talk about God at work. This is so awesome, because they weren't important, they were just normal...it was so awesome as the got to be the first messengers! God chose them to take the message of the newborn baby to the world and God still asks us to carry his message today, as everyday people...no matter who we are or what we do.

So who are you this Christmas? Is God asking you to answer His call for your life, even if it doesn't make sense? Is God asking you to support those in ministry? Is He asking you to carry his message to the world in your community, workplace, and family? As you celebrate the Christmas season, ask God to show you who He wants you to be this Christmas.

Merry Christmas and may God bless you richly!
-Matt

Merry Christmas from the Mattster

Just a little Christmas cheer for all of you. Click the link...laugh, and then go ahead...just go ahead and try to get this image out of your head!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=dbde97c9dcf085f8c3445beG06122316

Disturbing isn't it???

Transformers Movie Trailer

Okay so I am extremely excited about this movie! I cannot wait until next July. I will admit though, I am a little concerned though as with just the brief views of their faces it looks like they may have abandoned the look that made the transformers famous. Call me a purist, but I hope they didn't change it too much as I'll be disspointed. I guess the only way to say it is, "All we need is a little energon and a lot of luck.

Autobots...ROLL OUT!

Final grades...

Well I just got word from my professor that I got a B+ in his class. Although I was hoping for an A, I'll take it. One more class to go starting in January and then I'll be done with the program and have my MA. Graduation, here I come!

Community

So if it is okay, I am going to wax a little sentimental tonight. We had the chance to get together with some friends of ours from our previous church. These are not just friends, but more. They are the friends who are like family, in fact we almost consider their kids our own. We always try to get together with them when we are home and so tonight we hit one of our favorite restaurants BW3's for some wings and fellowship.

I'll be honest. I really miss this type of community relationship. We have been at our current church for almost two years now and we still only have one couple who would fall into that category. I sincerely wish there was more, but I don't know what to do differently to achieve it. We try as hard as we can, we invest in the kids and their parents as much as possible, but it still feels like all we are doing most of the time is damage control. There are times when I really feel unwanted at our church. It really can be discouraging and I think this lack of community is one of the things that contributed to my thoughts back in October (see the archives for my testimony). What can we do differently? Do these people understand how lonely we feel in ministry? Would they listen if we told them?

Okay I know I am whining, but I really need to feel this community again. Sorry for being so blunt, but as I said back in October I am tired of hiding how I feel and pretending like everything is always okay. Sometimes I hurt, sometimes I am lonely and now is one of those times. I am thankful for the ones we have, and I know God wants us to stay where we are in ministry, but I long for community and am not sure how to find it. So please pray for me.

Longing for community...
-Matt

PS. I removed the post from yesterday about the lady from our church. I posted the thoughts for humor's sake and the situation is nothing strange to our church, but I removed it because it could have had the potential to hurt someone's feelings and that would be the furthest thing from my mind so I removed it.

Sittin in the airport...

To the tune of "singing in the bathtub"-

Sittin in the airport

Bored out of my mind

gotta lot of time left

I think I'll go insane

people are getting angry

Flights have been delayed

Christmas carol singing

Everyone's insane

soon I'm gonna get home

Then I'll go crazy

Lot's of friends to see

Not enough time yippee.

Okay so I am not a song writer, but I had to do something to fill the four hour layover I have in "hot"lanta. It is funny to watch people and evidently Denver is closed so people are going insane and people are getting angry at each other...It really is the "most wonderful time of the year."

Update on scrooge

Okay...So since I have already got one nastygram pretty much pointing out how I was "misinformed" allow me to clarify my previous post. I was in no way intending to bash Disney or say that Santa got kicked out of the park. I only posted the article because I found it amusing and it was meant to be a piece of sarcastic satire during the Christmas season. Everyone who knows me (read my archives) knows that I am a fan of Disney and by no means am a Disney basher...So while I appreciate the strange traffic on my blog people please understand I write humor filled with satire and sarcasm. I do not bash people or places that I disagree with, I am just having fun here. So sorry Disney, I wasn't trying to bash you!

Talk about your Ebenezer Scrooge...

I can't believe this article, talk about your Christmas fun killers...What was he supposed to do? I give him props for "doing what he was asked" but not backing down completely, poor guy...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6189521.stm

If you can't get the link basically here is the rundown, a 60 year old man who looks like Santa was asked to stop impersonating Santa or be kicked out of the park because "Santa was a Disney character." All he was doing was winking and saying ho ho ho (excuse me, I have to be PC..."lady of the night, lady of the night, lady of the night") instead of crushing kids dreams. It's not like the poor guy was sitting kids on his lap and taking pictures in the middle of the park! Come on guys, you know I love Disney, but this is ridiculous. I'd say someone is definitely getting nothing but a lump of coal this year!

A Christmas poem...

I am not a huge fan of comedian Paul Gilmartin (TBS's Dinner and a Movie) as he can get a little foul at times, but I have always enjoyed his Christmas poem. It is a little off color, but always gives me a chuckle, so here for your enjoyment, Paul Gilmartin's Christmas poem...

Eggnog, tinsel, falling snow
Buttered rum and mistletoe
Christmas trees and hanging lights
The sound of carolers fills the night

Shopping hours long and hard
Visa phones and cancels card
Unpaid bills and mounting debts
Family gathers; depressions sets

Drinking starts, harsh words are said
Dysfunction rears its yuletide head
Argument turns to shovin'
Drunken brother punches cousin

Tree tips over, popping lights
Curtains catch, house ignites
No one hears the reindeer cries
Wedged in chimney, Santa dies

Though he kicked and did perspire
His chestnuts roasted on an open fire.

It is just a little funny to me, I know I am sick! But I always get a little chuckle out of this, because we can almost all think of someone's family that is like this...To some extent.

Merry Christmas! (early)

Crazy Phobia...

I always get on edge this time of year because of my stupid phobias...I am serious, I think I am nuts when it comes to this. There isn't a whole lot that scares me. I hate spiders, don't mind snakes so much and heights don't really bother me. So what am I scared of? Puke! I am always on edge during this season because of the wonderful stomach bug that makes its rounds this time of year. Now I am not a germaphobe on a Howie Mandell level, but when it comes to getting this type of sickness I freak out! I can stand a cold or being knocked out by the flu for a couple of days, but for some reason when it comes to being "sick" with the stomach bug I freak out. It has been this way for some time. When I was growing up any time someone had the bug at our house I would walk around the house with a can of lysol, go out through the basement door where my room was and try to stay as far away from anyone with it as I could.

I know I am crazy. I thought it would get better when I got older, but I still freak out about it. Any time a teen or anyone for that matter says something about not feeling good I freak out. I actually almost make myself sick worrying about being around it and maybe getting the bug! I know I can't keep from getting it-even if I wash my hands all the time, but I still go nuts for some reason.

I don't know what it is...Even when Meg is sick I am almost paralyzed and she makes fun of me because I want to "help" but she knows how scared I get about it.

I don't know if it is the action, the smell, or what, but I just can't deal with vomit...Never could and not sure how I'll ever be able to.

So I am officially crazy....Call the men in white coats, maybe it will get better when we have kids someday. Speaking of kids I think I'll probably be okay with the morning sickness thing because it won't be catching...I KNOW! See how I rationalize it...I am a freak and should get over it, maybe someday!

Running from the fears...
-Matt

Going to the World Series...

Okay so not that world series...Only if by some random luck the Reds go again someday...Instead I am going to this world series...If you have never heard of this, every summer VH1 features a pop culture tournament and they are holding the auditions right now. I have always been told I am a pop culture junkie and no one likes to play trivial pursuit or scene it with me so this is the one for me. I sent in our applications for our team "2 schmucks and a duck" and sure enough they selected us for the audition so myself, and two members of our church are heading to Orlando in February for the try outs. This should be fun! There's a shot at 250,000 so we'll see if we have what it takes to win it all!

I'll do it...Tomorrow!

Okay, so I am not going to lie about it. There are two weaknesses that I will readily admit to. I don't like them, but I am still working on them and wonder if maybe I always will. First I am unorganized, I do not do a very good job at planning my schedule and making sure that all the boxes are checked off. In addition to that, I am a procrastinator. Thus I find myself in an all too familiar situation...I will be up all night writing book reviews that I have put off until the last minute. I am not sure how I get to this position other than I just don't manage myself well enough to not procrastinate. I am a world better than I was in my undergrad, but I still have a long way to go yet. So...I'll work on my disorganization and procrastination-tomorrow!

I guess this is just a chance to get back to my undergrad years...Ahh the memories, not really. I want to sleep, but here's to coffee and my laptop!

-Matt

Christmas at the McKee's...

Here are a few pictures of our Christmas decorations. As soon as I finish the outside I'll get pics of those as well...

This is Meg's Nativity made of Heartwood Home (I think is the name of them) collectibles. To the left is the Large wiseman display which she is working on collecting next. The three wisemen combine to show a full nativity themselves.

This is Meg's tree-her Angel tree. The tree has white lights and almost all of the ornaments are flute angels. There are a couple of special ornaments on there as well, but mostly flute angels. Here is my favorite part of the house-the fireplace and mantle are decorated with snowmen and I think the rocking chair adds a special touch...Plus that is my tree-completely decorated in colored lights and "fun" ornaments-mostly M&M related things (M&M-obviously the connection to the candy comes from Matt & Megan), NASCAR ornaments, and Hallmark Keepsakes of Star Wars and Star Trek-I guess this one is our redneck tree, but since it is mine I am a little impartial to it. Speaking of M&M's check out this next picture...This is from our curio entertainment center. The whole thing is decorated with M&M related things (someone at the wedding thought it would be cool since we are M&M and it has been the gift of choice from teens and parents ever since). This is the holiday city that we put out each year. There is a whole series of them and the other smaller ones are left over ornaments from my tree and candy toppers that people have given us.

So there you have it, Christmas in the McKee household. If you stop by you'll have a "warm" Christmas, but you'll still get all the decorations just as if we were in the cold up north!

Humble Pie...

Here is a pic of my youth sponsor Scott Sanborn after the Ohio State Michigan game. He is an avid Michigan fan so it really pained him to have to wear my Ohio State tie. Thanks for being a good sport Scott and thanks for all you do!

Borrowing from Marko...Again

It's not that I haven't had anything really good to say lately-okay well it is, but that's beside the point. I will have some Christmas pics up soon, but at the risk of sounding more and more everyday like a junior high student trapped in an adult body I am borrowing this headline from marko's blog (www.ysmarko.com). It was just too funny and priceless to pass up. I know I am 30, but there is still just something funny about flatulence, especially in a situation like this...Here's the link to the article:

http://www.wbir.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=40210

Baptism Cannonball!

Kudos for marko (www.ysmarko.com) for putting this up on his blog, but I couldn't pass up the chance to post this. This is priceless. I could totally see some of my teens doing this someday. It's worth the laugh it is guaranteed to bring!

voltron vehicle opening video

Just to prove I'm not crazy...very few people remember this one, and it's pretty much the same opening dialog with different video footage. I wish they would put this one on as well as lion force!

GO VOLTRON FORCE!!!

Ahhh...childhood memories!

Remember this golden gem from our childhood?

"Activate interlock, Dynotherms connected, Infracells up...megathrusters are go...GO VOLTRON FORCE!"

I love it! And now I can relive it every morning on the cartoon network, it's on early so thank God for DVR's!!!

"Form feet and legs...form arms and body...and I'll form, THE HEAD!!!"

Anyone else remember vehicle Voltron? It wasn't as popular, but I always thought it was cool...and actually if I remember right it was on long before Lion Force Voltron.

In Touch with my inner child as always,
-Matt

I hate goodbyes...

The title says it all, I hate goodbyes...Plain and simple, they suck. There is no way to avoid it, and because that word seems so "permanent" to me I tried to stop saying it when Megan and I were dating. We wouldn't say "goodbye" we would say "see you soon," acknowledging that even though we were a thousand miles apart we would see each other again soon. I even try to say it with people that I see on a regular basis, but a lot of times I'll say "see you in a bit," which used to upset some of my friends because they knew it would be a long time before we would see each other again.

So I have gotten pretty good at avoiding the word goodbye, until yesterday. When I dropped my folks off at the airport I said goodbye-I didn't do it intentionally, it just came out that way. I know I'll see them again in three weeks for Christmas, but it still stunk having to say goodbye and I was even angrier at myself for using that phrase. I wonder if it was a subliminal way of admitting how hard it is each time they leave. I have always been close to my family, as is Megan with hers. When we made the decision to move here almost 2 years ago it was not an easy decision. There are times when I hate the fact that we are so far apart...I wasn't able to say goodbye to my grandma one last time before she died, my parents aren't getting any younger (but I don't anticipate them going anywhere any time soon), and my baby niece is growing up and I miss getting to see all of her "firsts" since she is the first grandchild for our family cell.

I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that we were called to be here and God reaffirmed that call in October, but there are times when it is tough to be so far away. There are times when the enemy sweeps in and I catch myself questioning God, I know I shouldn't but it is hard not to sometimes. So pray for me, as the holidays are one of those times...We only have a limited amount of time with family, we have to balance between the two, and then it seems to end and before we know it we are saying "see you soon" again knowing that it might me as much as six months before we do see each other again.

God is good though, and it is in these times that He stretches us most and pulls us closer to Him. I don't know about you, but I am glad that he didn't say "goodbye" after He ascended into heaven...He is coming back, He hasn't left us, and there will be a time when we are all together forever if we know Him. I think that is one of the things that helps me to hold on during these tough times because I know that He didn't say goodbye, but rather "see you soon." I look forward to the time I get to spend with family, no matter how short of a time it is, and I look forward to the day that we get to see Jesus again as well.

Just a little sentimental rant...Any ideas to help with the time apart with family?

Comic Book Christianity...

From www.msn.com:
X-Men's Dave Cockrum Dies at 63Nov 28, 6:01 PM EST
The Associated Press
COLUMBIA, S.C. -- Comic book illustrator Dave Cockrum, who in the 1970s overhauled the X-Men and helped popularize the relatively obscure Marvel Comics title into a publishing sensation and eventually a major film franchise, died Sunday. He was 63.
In his Superman pajamas and with his Batman blanket, Cockrum died in his favorite chair at his home in Belton, S.C., early Sunday morning. He had suffered a long battle with diabetes and related complications, his wife, Paty, said Tuesday.
At Cockrum's request, there will be no public services and his body will be cremated, according to Cox Funeral Home. His ashes will be spread on his property.
At Marvel Comics, Cockrum and writer Len Wein were handed the X-Men. The comic had been created in 1963 as a group of young outcasts enrolled in an academy for mutants, but the premise failed to capture fans.
Cockrum and Wein took the existing comic, added their own heroes and published "Giant-Size X-Men No. 1" in 1975. Many signature characters Cockrum designed and co-created — such as Storm, Mystique, Nightcrawler and Colossus — went on to become part of the "X-Men" films starring Hugh Jackman and Halle Berry.
Cockrum received no movie royalties, said family friend Clifford Meth, who organized efforts to help Cockrum and his family during his protracted medical care.
"Dave saw the movie and he cried — not because he was bitter," Meth said. "He cried because his characters were on screen and they were living."
Cockrum was born in Pendleton, Ore., the son of an Air Force officer. He set aside his interest in art while serving in Vietnam for the U.S. Navy. He moved to New York after leaving the service and got his big break in the early 1970s, drawing the Legion of Super-Heroes for DC Comics before moving to Marvel.
In January 2004, Cockrum moved to South Carolina after being hospitalized for bacterial pneumonia. As his diabetes progressed, his drawings became limited. His last drawing was a sketch for a fan, who attended a small comic book convention in Greenville, Paty Cockrum said.
Meth said Cockrum, who will be cremated in a Green Lantern shirt, will be remembered as "a comic incarnate."
"He had a genuine love for comics and for science fiction and for fantasy, and he lived in it," Meth said. "He loved his work."

Those of you that know me well know that I have always been a comic book junkie, specifically for X-Men and really for the whole Marvel Universe. So when I saw the headline "X-Men writer dies in his Superman pajamas" I knew I had to read the article. Here is a man who helped to make the greatest comic books what they were today. He wasn't just associated with the X-Men, but even was a part of making the greatest DC comics happen as well. What caught my attention though was the part of the article that talked about they way he was when he died-"under his Batman blanket and in his Superman pajamas." Now that may seem a little bit funny, but here was a man that was dedicated to his life's work. Even after retiring he stayed connected to the comic book world. He even cried when he saw his characters come to life on the big screenNotnot because he wasn't getting paid, but because they were alive. What would it be like if we had the same dedication to Jesus. How many times are we guilty of Sunday and Wednesday Christianity or just simply being satisfied with status quo Christianity. God wants us to be totally dedicated to Him. Now I am not saying go out and get your "Jesus is my homebotshirtirt and your Jesus bobblehead to show your devotion, but we can take a lesson learned from this man in the fact that if someone can be so devoted to what they did as a career what can we do if we are totally devoted to Christ? It's just something to think about. Jesus gave His all for us, can't we do the same for him?
Just thinkin...
-Matt

The Goal for the week...

So the goal for the rest of the week...DON'T GAIN ANY WEIGHT. I finished the first phase of the Fat Smash diet...Almost. I just decided that it was going to be too difficult to manage that type of diet until after the first of the year, BUT I did learn a lot last week. I like the idea of eating healthier. Although it is tough to stomach a salad sometimes I honestly felt ALOT better last week than I have felt in a long time and the day that I finally did go back to eating the old way (well an adjusted version of the old way-less bad stuff, but still the old way) I felt COMPLETELY different. So what I have decided is to continue eating the adjusted new way with less meat and fats and more vegetables and healthier proteins with less carbs altogether. I have done well so far and my goal is to make it through Thanksgiving the same way and NOT gain any weight. I am planning on hitting the gym extra hard tomorrow morning just to give myself a little more wiggle room. So here's what I learned-less carbs, more healthy protein, more fruits and vegetables, and skip the caffeine if at all possible. I lost four pounds last week, so that is good for me. Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!
-Matt

For the Michigan fans...part 2

There ya have it folks...Buckeyes win again!

Is a rematch in order? I'm still not sure they deserve it, but hey if it happens it's one more chance for the Buckeyes to prove they are number one! Odds are they will drop with 2 more weeks of football left with the other teams. We'll see. Thanks everyone for being good sports and having fun about this!!! GO BUCKEYES!!!

For the Michigan fans...

Thought ya'll might appreciate these images...

You know you fear it...

Prepare to lose...AGAIN!!!Smart kid!!!

Good Dog!!!

Show me the money...

Did anyone else see this show last night? I just happened to catch it out of curiosity because it is being hosted by the "shat" and so I thought it might be worth watching. The premise of the game is deal or no deal meets jeopardy. There are 13 girls who do a rather cheesy dance to the theme music of the show (complete with synchronized claps) and who also hold various dollar amounts. You get the chance to answer some trivia questions (which most seemed pretty easy in my opinion) and then you pick a dancer who then reveals a dollar amount or the "killer card." If you answer right you get the dollar amount ranging from 20k-250k. You get to answer as many questions as possible until you get either 6 right or wrong with your dollar amounts going up or down depending on if you are right. If you get the killer card you either get it right or have to answer the "killer" question which means either you are still in with the same amount of money or leave with nothing. Last night one guy left with a ridiculous amount of money (500K if I remember right) and another left with nothing thanks to the killer card (good move on the editors part). All in all the game show is okay, but the pace is slow and the cheese factor is a little too high for my taste but check it out and see what you think. It premiers next Wednesday the 22nd.

Fat Smash Fever...

So Meg and I started a new diet yesterday...Called the "fat smash diet" which is put out by Dr. Ian of "Celebrity Fit Club" fame. I bought the book after my "free diet advice" from Dr. Ian earlier this year (you can find the post in the archives). After reading it I thought it might be worth a try. So after slowly cleaning out the fridge of all the "bad" stuff we started yesterday phase 1-detox. For the next nine days I am allowed all the fruits and vegetables I want, and honestly several other things that make this diet doable...The hardest part...NO MEAT, NO COFFEE, and NO DIET COKE! It was kinda hard yesterday having lunch with the teens who so nicely enjoyed their triple cheese bacon cheeseburger and 7 oz ribeye in front of me (Thanks Brian and Ashley)...Me I had a nice plain salad with a little light ranch. So needless to say I was hungry most of the day yesterday but honestly I think I felt better last night than I have felt in a long time. I seemed to have more energy and I wasn't dragging in the evening. Maybe there is something to this. So the battle continues....

Michigan vs. Ohio State PROMO

It truly is...THE GAME!!! GO BUCKS! BEAT MICHIGAN!!!

Ohio State Buckeye Football - Past and Present

GO BUCKS!!!

What's God trying to tell me???

So I walked outside this morning and I got a message from the Lord. You may think I am joking....But I promise He spoke LOUD AND CLEAR. I looked up at the beautiful sky and there it was plain as day...

The message???

God was telling me that I can save a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!!!

WOW! I never knew God was in the insurance business. This was actually courtesy of the Geico sky typers team (www.skytyping.com) who are in town for the big Blue Angels homecoming air show this weekend (the final show before the angels head to Top Gun to train for the winter months). I thought it was funny though. They were actually advertising the show all above us for miles (you can see the previous geicos from before). It was fun to see and I can't wait to see them this weekend at the show. Hope you got a smile out of this one! Be blessed! And remember-don't let Jesus catch you ridin' dirty!

Jesus "Ridin' Dirty"

If you were to visit my friends Dan and Angie in dangieland (http://dangieland.blogspot.com), you could find their post from awhile back about church signs. We all know they are annoying and a bit overboard most of the time. I have been guilty of such sayings as "Tired of DQ? Try our Sundays" as I was in charge of the church sign at my last church (it was one of those "other duties as assigned things from my job description). However, as I was driving through Pensacola the other night I saw what I think was the king of all corny church signs. If you aren't familiar with the song "ridin' dirty" by chamillionaire that is where they got it...I think. The song is a foul rap song, but popular and so I guess the church was wanting to be culturally relevant. I understand the importance of being culturally relevant, but this is ridiculous. Here it is...Living proof...
I laughed out loud. Props to the church for being this bold, but I still think it is funny...I think I'll change our sign to say "Jesus wants me to be white and nerdy" to quote the Weird al parody of the song.

Will Ferrell is The Phantom of the Opera

Thanks to Josh Griffin for posting this on his blog http://simplyyouthministry.blogspot.com I had to steal it though and put it up here...classic Will Ferrell-He never ceases to amaze me

Don't forget to vote!

So if you are old enough and registered, don't forget to go vote tomorrow. It is our privilege as Americans to be able to do this, so don't miss your chance. Whether you are Democrat, Republican, party or no party, in support of Bush or not...GO DO IT IF YOU CAN! If you don't vote you don't have a voice so if you can tomorrow don't forget to do it!
-Matt

Perhaps the funniest sign I have ever seen...

So I am in Jacksonville with the teens for our Extreme Days fall retreat (district qualifier for regional TNT@TNU). Jacksonville is funny, and perhaps the funniest thing I have seen for a long time is the sign of a restaurant right off I95 and University Boulevard. We have driven by it each day, but I am afraid to try it...But for your laughing pleasure I introduce you to perhaps the most unique Chinese take out restaurant...Ying's...

Sweet and sour chicken...$3.95, Schechzwan chicken-$4.95, Egg Fu Yung-$5.00, laughter ensued from looking at the sign...PRICELESS!

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone...

Anyone else have a problem being motivated on cloudy, dreary, cool days? I got up this morning for the Bible study I lead at one of the middle schools with every intention of going to the gym afterwards...Instead I went back to the house and slept for an hour. Now I am sitting here in the office struggling just to stay awake and be motivated. Anyone else get this way when the sun doesn't seem to want to come out?

Thoughts on community...

I had the privilege of speaking this Sunday morning for the whole church. After a lot of wrestling with what to say and how to say it I decided to share some thoughts on community. I decided to write a bit of a hybrid post from my notes for today's blog. The premise of the message was the importance of taking a "community health exam" just as you would a physical. Here are the thoughts...

It's important for us as Christians to occasionally check ourselves on areas of our Christian walk just as we would when we go to the doctor for our annual physicals. We read in 1st Corinthians chapter 12 that we are a part of the body of Christ, and as churches, youth ministries, and communities of faith we are "bodies" of Christ and our health as a spiritual body is just as important as our physical health...If not more. One area that I think we sometimes fall short is the area of community. So how are we doing in the area of community? How is our spiritual health? (insert your church here, but please understand this was for my church, but I think the principles apply to all churches). Here is how we find out where we stand and how to improve our community health:

1. It's personal (how are you doing as an individual?)

• Do you know Christ as your personal savior? Have you surrendered your life to him? If not why not? He gave us everything, can't we give Him something?
• Do you give to Him? I am not talking just about tithe...Everything we have is His. Do we live our lives seeing the blessings that He has given us or do we hoard what we have and pretend that we are the ones who are responsible for all we have. In addition to this, do we offer Him our time? There are 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year. What if we were to simply offer the Lord 10% of our time each day-it's not that much time, are we so busy that we can't offer Him some of our day?
• Do we serve Him? He has blessed every single one of us with some type of talent or gift. He made us unique and we have SOMETHING to offer Him whether we're 6 months old, 6 years old, 16, or 60 we can serve Him in some capacity. What are you doing for the Lord right now?

2. It's outreach (How are you with others?)

• How willing are you to help those who are in need. I know I have become cynical over the years of ministry about helping those who ask for money, be it at our church or on the street. Every once in awhile though the Lord prompts me to give and I try to listen to what He is saying and then do my part to meet the need. I am not saying give money to every homeless person you meet, but are you listening for the Lord's voice when it comes to meeting the needs of others? What are you going to do to help those in need during the upcoming winter when giving goes down? What role can you play in helping those who need help during the winter and holiday season? There is something you can offer I promise, begin asking what God would have you do to help this holiday season.
• How do you treat those who come through the doors of your church? This is a big one and I still struggle with this, both as a pastor and as an individual. How do we treat strangers and first time visitors? Do we make them feel welcome? Do we make sure they feel like they are a part of our ministry or do we just stay around those who we are comfortable with and pass off a welcome hand shake as enough? I know there are people from my ministry time who have come as a visitor to the churches/youth ministries I have served in who came once and never came back because they weren't made to feel welcome. Are we attending churches who are full of cliques and close cell friendship groups who don't like outsiders or are we attending churches that reach out to visitors and make sure that EVERYONE feels welcome?

3. It's corporate (How are we with each other?)

• Do we make an effort to step outside our friendship/ministry circles or are we segmented as churches? Do people look at the various ministries as entities in and of themselves or a part of the greater ministry?
• How do we talk about each other? Do we live out Proverbs 27:17 being like "iron sharpening iron" or do we "dull" our churches' ministries because we tear each other down with gossip, harsh criticisms, and lack of support?
• How do we support each other? Do we support our leadership, our lay members, our teens and children? Do we pray for them, encourage them, find ways to serve them?

If we are going to be effective as communities of faith we need to find ways to encourage and support one another. Even if we don't agree with the way everything is done we need to support and encourage each other. We are all part of the same team...We can do so much more if we work together instead of against each other.

So how are we doing in these areas? Those are my thoughts on community. Take your own personal "community health" check up.

So what do you think?

-Matt

Disappointed

Well, I have to admit I am a little disappointed today. Meg and I had been planning on going with the Indiana Wesleyan Wind Ensemble to Europe next May. This was going to be a double treat since that group is where we met AND it is Meg's dream to travel to Europe. Well I received an email today from Mr. Flanagin that the trip has been cancelled. I guess Europe will have to wait. Oh well, there is still PLENTY to praise God for though, and I know we'll get to go someday! More to write as the week goes on.

-Matt

Real beauty video...

Here is the video I was telling you about. It has been on several other blogs, but in case you missed it, here it is. WOW what a message to our young girls today.

Nothing spiritual just TV...Part deux

So I promised to follow up my fall TV post with another one and I just haven't had the chance until now, so here are my thoughts on the two other shows that I'll be watching this fall.

Ugly Betty: Thursdays 8 PM

Now, this one is up against some great competition in Survivor, My name is Earl, and The Office, so if you don't have a DVR I would say skip it until reruns, but it is a good show. Megan loves it, and I'll be honest, although the plot line is a little slow, its redeeming value comes in the confidence of Betty and the occasional "goodness" of the publisher of the magazine who is slowly realizing that image is not everything. It is a cute show though about a Hispanic college grad fresh our into the world of the fashion industry. I really like the fact that it goes against everything Hollywood that says you have to look a certain way to make it in today's world. It fits right in with the "campaign for real beauty" that Dove (I think its Dove) is running. I'll try to find that video and post it later this week. So in the midst of all the good shows check out this "not so ugly" show.

Friday Night Lights: Tuesday 8:00

So the joke about this new show is "if it's about Friday night lights and football, then why isn't it on Friday night." Simple note from communications classes in college and what I know about entertainment: despite the good old days of TGIF you send a show to Friday if it is on its way out...That's why. Anyway though I'll have to admit after seeing the movie of the same name and all the hype about this show I have been a little disappointed in it. However, as the season is developing it is getting a little better, but the plot is a little slow. I honestly don't see this one making it past this year, but I'll keep watching it to see how it goes. The premise here is pretty much the same as the movie...Football in west Texas, which I have been informed by a gentleman in our church IS just like what you see on TV. This town is driven by football and everything revolves around how the team does. Enter a new coach, injured QB and new back up and there is your premise for the show. Then of course you have to throw in the teen love triangles, family conflict and more and there you have it. There isn't a lot on Tuesday's right now except Dancing with the Stars, which is a skipper for me so I say check it out and see what you think.

Those are my thoughts on the new shows this year. I still have to say the new favorite is definitely Heroes (Mondays at 9:00). It's definitely a character drama season for me this year, the sitcoms haven't done much for me. If you want to know what I thought of the other new ones this season, check out my previous blog from the archives.

What do you think?

Gotta love the powder puff...

So if you make a list of teen events that aren't my favorite to attend you know the obvious ones...Junior high band/chorus concerts, dance recitals, SOME school plays, and maybe a few more. It is all a part of youth ministry though, and we do it because it lets the kids know we care. I started to add powder puff football to that event, until last night.

Sunday night, one of my seniors Erin asked if I would come to her powder puff game as this week is homecoming. Now if you have never been to one of these events, know it is definitely something...The girls play the football (flag football) and the guys are the cheerleaders (to the tune of obnoxious outfits complete with balloons up the shirt). That in and of itself was entertaining, but I was worried about the game at first. It just seemed to drag on at first...Junior versus seniors, stopping the clock after every play, juniors running away with the game due to one REALLY fast girl. Meg and I were about to go since we had been to most of the game, had already touched based with Erin's mom,Erin had seen us and waved, and we saw a couple of other parents and some other students and adults. I felt like we had done our part and we needed to get Meg home since she had an early field trip this morning. Then it happened...

1. Large African American junior-push on play one to AA senior girl (who was just as large)
2. Large African American senior-hard block on play 2-trash talk ensues (which was in language I am not quite sure I understood-or chose to block out since there was some profanity)
3. *warning from officials*
4. LAA junior on third play-hard block back and chaos ensues...Officials pulling girls off each other, words flying everywhere,Erin just looks at us and laughs...Which Meg and I were doing also

I LOVE THIS GAME...so I went home and watched Friday night lights (the tv show) just to keep the football energy going

Still breathin...

Yup, I am still alive, it has just been a crazy few days. I started a new Masters Class which is going to eat my lunch (theology of holiness-makes my brain hurt just thinking about it) and so I really haven't had the chance to write much, but all is well.

We started offering Bible Studies on Wednesday and Sunday so that students can come on their off night to dig deeper into the word. It was actually more to quiet the criticism from parents who can't get past the idea of "not" having church on a certain night, but it really has gone well so far. In fact, one of the parents who has opposed most of what we have done since we have been here has asked if she could be a part of the Bible Study so that is a praise in and of itself.

Went to the doctor for my annual physical today and all looks good and for the first time in a long time I am able to be weighed on the old school scales. According to the doctor's scales I was 344 which is great considering that last year when I went for my physical I was up around 370. There is still a long way to go, but I'll take it! My cholesterol also looks good, but they want me to up my good cholesterol because the ratio is a bit off I guess between good and bad, but the bad was not high so another good report there. BUT they did remind me that I need to make sure and hit the gym 3 days a week, which I try to do, but isn't always easy. The only concern was that my iron levels were a bit low and I guess I am borderline anemic...Whatever that means, but they said that would explain why I've been so tired recently. So we'll get that figured out and then maybe it will be easier to get into the gym 3 or more days a week.

But that is pretty much all that is going on...My mom is walking again which is a HUGE praise, many of you know she has been wheelchair bound since helping us move down here a year and a half ago. I am so glad about that as I was afraid she wasn't going to be able to walk again...She won't run a marathon anytime soon, but she is walking!

I'll try to get a youth ministry post on here later this week, but just thought I'd give a quick personal update this time.

Until next time...
-Matt

Anatomy of a teenage fundraiser...

So the church had a car show yesterday and the teens worked the concessions to make money for the youth ministry. In light of that and previous fundraiser experiences over the summer I thought about what a teenage fundraiser really looks like...

Pastor Matt: Hey guys, we've got some events coming up before too awful long and it is going to cost money for you to go so it is really important for you to show up at the fundraisers so you can have money to go. Even if you aren't planning on coming to this event, you should work it so you have money in your account for future events so you can go when we grab dinner at CiCi's or something...

Teens: When is it? What are we doing? Do we have to work it?

Pastor Matt (to parents): Parents, it is really important that your children be at the fundraiser so they can pay for the event coming up

Parents: They aren't going on that trip, it is too expensive

Pastor Matt: That is why we are having the fundraisers to help pay for it

Parents: But they probably aren't going to that event anyway

Pastor Matt: It would be good for them to work it though just so they can have money in their account the next time they want to do something.

Parents: Well, we'll see, I am not making any guarantees.

The day of the event comes, a few teens show up, but the ones that really need to be there...Aren't

Teens: Pastor Matt I can't afford to go to the event because I don't have enough money to go

Parents: My kids doesn't have enough money to go on the trip...Why do they always have to be so expensive. We don't have that kind of money

Pastor Matt: Well we had three fundraisers, none of which your child was at.

Parents: I didn't know anything about it.

Pastor Matt: It was in the bulletin, an announcement was made, and it was mentioned in the parent email newsletter.

Parents: Well they are still a part of the youth ministry, they should get the money anyway, isn't that what the youth budget is for?

Pastor Matt: It helps, but we only had so much to put towards this event, I have already put that money in your student's account. I am sorry, but I can't pay your child's way, we just don't enough money. Remember in the future that they NEED to be at the fundraisers.

Parents: well I am just going to have to speak to the pastor about this....

Anyone else ever have an experience like this? Am I crazy?

-Matt

Thoughts on words...

We all remember the slogan we learned early in school..."Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Yeah...RIGHT! I wish is were that easy. I remember trying that in school only to be beat up for saying it (yeah it's okay, picture the little fat kid you all know saying it...That was me when I was young but I laugh about it now. Besides, I wasn't fat, I was "husky" which we all know was mom's way of trying to make me feel better). The truth is though, words really do hurt. If it is worthy enough to be mentioned in the Bible (check out James) then it must be worthy of note. I just don't get it though why people still use hurtful words. Here are some reasons I think...

• It makes them feel better
• It helps them "fit in"
• They want to share their "concerns"
• It is being done in an effort to "keep you informed" (which is what I will share about)

It's so funny how the enemy works, I haven't even been home from the convention for a week and someone felt the need to share "what they had heard" Wednesday night after youth group. It isn't anything I haven't heard already...Why students don't like me here, why our numbers are "dropping" since we went to a middle high/senior high format (which they aren't), and basically everything else I am doing "wrong" right now. It would be really easy to get discouraged and want to quit (like I felt before the convention), but for the first time I felt the Lord just surround me with the realization that it was just "words." Simply put, it doesn't matter. Also for the first time, I really felt like the Lord gave Meg and I the words to say back to this person in confronting these issues. It doesn't mean the words will stop-I am learning you just can't please everyone (which is hard for me-I am a people pleaser) and you can't reach everyone. So here are my thoughts on words-I don't know if they will work for you, but they are working for me:

About people:

1. People are people-They are who they are and we can't change them
2. Sometimes people do stupid things-Hey I'll be the first to admit I am guilty as charged, I can't tell you the number of times I have had to go back and apologize for the things I have said (sometimes unintentionally, but most of the time with the specific goal of getting back at them)
3. "hurt" people hurt people-We all have tough times in our lives and what I have noticed is that we tend to want to hurt others when we are hurting (again guilty as charged). Each person who feels the need to criticize me right now is going through a tough time in their own lives and maybe I am just an easy outlet for them because they have some "control" over my situation as the youth pastor
4. I can't change their minds-but God can. The only thing I can do is pray for the people who feel the need to put me down.

About words:

1. They are just that, words and only that. They have no bearing on who I am as an individual or how my relationship with Christ is
2. Anything coming from anyone other than the source is gossip, no questions asked. This person felt the need to tell us what was going on because she was "concerned" but it was her version of what was said. I know most of it is true because I have heard it from multiple sources, but only what comes from the source is really what was said
3. They don't need to be heard-we asked this person not to come tell us anymore what people are saying because of how it has hurt us in the past. I welcome criticism and concerns, but only if they come from the source who said it.

About change and conflict:

1. Change is necessary-be aware of when things need to be changed.
2. Change is never easy- We have made changes in the youth ministry since we have been here. All of them have been prayed through and done with guidance from the youth leadership board and senior pastor

So of course the enemy would love for me to get discouraged, but I am just not going to this time. God is good and with His help we are going to make it through this. The people who are causing the conflict right now have been since we got here. I have struggled with how to love them from day one, but I think I finally know how. To use the overused Christian cliche I am going to "kill them with kindness." This Sunday I am very deliberately going to go to each of them, let them know I appreciate them, understand their concerns and am glad they are a part of our church. Even if they don't like me I can still pray for them and love on them like everyone else. I am not against them, I am for them-their kids are my kids and I do pray for them daily whether they realize it or not. The prayer is not that they will get on board with my vision, but that God will be very real in their hearts and lives and that He will help them with what they are going through.

So words are words, and with the Lord's help, the won't hurt me.

Trusting the Lord,

-Matt

Final thoughts on Austin and back to reality...

Well, it's over and it's back to reality again. I think I am kind of like Peter at the moment of transfiguration when He asks Jesus why they can't just stay there, build some shrines and worship, but of course Jesus sends them on and it is back to reality because the journey is not ever yet and the battle continues. YS Austin was awesome, and I wish I could have stayed a little longer, but I know that the time to get back to the battle is now. I am so glad I went this year and went to that convention and not another one.

As we were driving home along I 10 which is never fun anywhere you are on it, I was reminded of the journey we are on and how the youth ministry journey is a lot like the road we travel. I know that is a corny cliche, but that's honestly the way I feel right now. As a ministry, we are on a plateau that seems to go on and on forever. However, as we were driving occasionally there were some bright spots that I found cool, like the part of I 10 where you drive across the Louisiana bayou for 20 some odd miles. The swamps are a amazing...Somewhat barren in places, but full of life and growth. There are things there that thrive, but would die any place else. It is the same way on our spiritual journeys and those of our students. Each on of them is in a different place, some are in the valleys full of ups and downs, some are in plateaus where they just seem to maintain their faith (or lack thereof), and some are in the places that are full of life and growth...Even though that growth may seem strange to me and I wonder how they could get anything out of "that" lesson or event. I think in the midst of the discouragement I forgot to realize that just like physical maturity everyone grows spiritually at different speeds. I want my kids to be spiritual all stars and achieve all they can in their relationships with God. I want them to have the same passion that I have and not miss out on what God has planned for them, but I forget that they are kids and need to have room to be that way. Youth ministry is a lot like the parable of the sower. I have to be constantly reminded that I am planting the seeds and only God can make them grow.

Okay enough of trying to make something spiritual out of a long drive. When I wasn't thinking of illustrations we were listening to the seminars that we bought on CD. I am so thankful that is provided as a resource since there were multiple times when I wanted to go to multiple seminars and a long drive is a great time to listen to that stuff.

But all things come to an end and it is back to life and the battle, but I feel like I actually know where I am going now. Here is what I am working on putting into practice now:

1. I need to be more deliberate about my quiet times-it is so easy to write off planning as quiet time, its not
2. I need to be more deliberate about my "Sabbath"-it is time I turn the phone off and hit the white ball (golf) or the beach on my own and spend time just taking in all that god has and stepping back from it all
3. I need to let kids be kids-I need to challenge and push them, but I can only take them as far as they are ready to go
4. I need to be more transparent-It is okay to admit that I don't have it all put together. I still struggle and I make mistakes, I am not perfect
5. God doesn't need me-He can do what He wants without me, I need to praise Him more and realize that I am nothing and He is everything, my programs are nothing if they aren't centered around Him
6. I need to be more deliberate about the time I spend with kids-I DO need to get into the homes more instead of relying completely on online contact, phone calls, school lunches, games, and more. This will allow me to get with the parents and be more visual in the lives of the students
7. I need to disciple someone-I am not sure which kid/s I'll start with, but I need to look for ways to be deliberate in discipling someone (of the same gender of course)
8. I need to be discipled-I have been mentored by several people throughout my spiritual journey, but I need to find someone that I look up to and want to learn from who is willing to mentor me through the things I am facing now.

Well that is all that is on my mind now. I would highly recommend taking in one of the conventions if you can...My next pick would be Cincy because it is the home of the soon to be Super Bowl Champion Cincinnati Bengals AND Skyline chili which cannot be beat in my opinion.

Thanks for reading my thoughts, walking along this journey with me, and praying with me. I am praying for all of you (who I do not know) who are on the same journey.

God is good!

-Matt

Austin Day 4...

Well today, I'll be honest, I took a little bit of Marko's advice and laid somewhat low. I know that the Lord has already dealt with me with what I think needed to happen here, so I just kinda rested some today, but still took in the convention with some freedom to come and go as necessary.

The best part of the day was sitting in on Sean McDowell's (www.planetwisdom.com) seminar "Helping students set sexual standards." Most of it was review for me since I have taken some courses in abstinence education, but the statistics about teenage sexuality never cease to amaze me. The latest one that really shocked me was that 54% of students by 7th grade have participated in oral sex. WOW...I had heard about some thoughts in the past about sex parties with junior highers, but it is still hard to fathom.

With that in mind, the thing I am wrestling with is how do you present abstinence and sexual purity to junior highers. There is no way to avoid it anymore, we have to cover it. The hard thing is parents do not want to believe that their middle schoolers would be participating in such things (or even know about them). We have to begin covering it though in a relevant manner with them. I know there are several great resources for older students, but does anyone know of any for middle school? I cannot think of any, in fact I am considering using that as a proposal for my upcoming master's project...Coming up with some type of relevant middle school purity material.

Here is what I think about middle school purity and how to address it:

1. It must be covered!
2. Parents must be involved/give input-they must stay educated and we need to help them however possible
3. It must be simple but relevant
4. It needs to be specific, but not too detailed as to give "ideas"

I am honestly unsure how to handle it. I know living in an area that has a high population of sexually active teens that I must address it, but my parents do not want me to cover it with them. Any suggestions?

It will probably be Tuesday before I post final Austin thoughts since I've got an 11 hour drive ahead of me tomorrow, but I'll get it posted as soon as possible

See ya then!

-Matt

Austin Day 3...

Paradigm shifts are never easy. And it appears, at least for my ministry that I am about to be in the midst of one. I think not realizing a need to change has potentially been the source of some of my recent struggles, but only time will tell. Here is what happened today:

I started the morning out in Jim Burns session on partnering parents. Some of this was review as I have already been using some of his homewords material since last year, but some of it is new. The first bit of a paradigm shift that needs to take place is parental involvement. I have been trying to include my parents in my ministry for some time now, but according to Burns I have been giving them too much of an option to opt out. He suggested upping the quality of what we offer them and make it a bit of a requirement, just like a sport or social club would have. The fact is, every parent should be involved in some way. This will be difficult for me I think as some of my parents are the proverbial "thorn" that Paul talks about. I pray that I can find new and better ways to involve my parents and minister to them more effectively.

The second paradigm shift that is going to be difficult is the idea of changing how I do things. Roland Martinson spoke this morning about having a ministry versus a monster. The whole concept here is about not building our ministries around ourselves and the program itself so as when we leave it creates a monster for the person who comes in after us. The real shift that needs to take place is in creating God followers and not jut consumers. It isn't about the entertainment, but about the relationship with Christ.

Donald Miller reaffirmed this tonight in his message about the change that has taken place within the church over the years. What we have created is a church full of consumers who are looking for the best product out there. We (perhaps unintentionally) have turned ourselves into "Corporation Jesus" as he put it, but what we really need to become is more like a family and not a business.

Can I say that this concept is very difficult for me to grasp since I have invested a lot of time and money in becoming culture savvy and knowing how to provide a quality program that compares to what the world has to offer. All through my college experience I was told that we have to radically change the world by being culturally relevant and offering something just as good as what the world has. So am I now to have to unlearn that? It will be difficult, but I have a feeling I need to let my kids know that I have missed the boat. I have spent so much time trying to entertain them instead of showing them a radical Jesus who is calling them to a radical life change that may be uncomfortable.

So this journey may be a difficult one, but I am willing to give it a shot. I'm not going to go out and encourage my kids to become a monastic society who remove themselves from the world, but I think I have some relearning to do as it relates to understanding and embracing culture and still pointing kids to family style Jesus.

What do you think?
-Matt

A death wish?

Okay some may say that I am crazy and that I have a death wish for what I am about to do today. I am going to wear my Ohio State jersey in Austin. I am hoping that everyone is too preoccupied with the Red River shootout to worry about little old me today, but in all seriousness I am hoping just to have some fun with people today at the convention. After all they ruined our season last year and I've got a right to brag this year don't I? All in good fun though, no harm...I just hope I don't come across that one die hard fan (but hopefully they are up in Dallas watching the game) who desires my life as a sacrifice to Bevo the mascot. I'll hold off on saying go Sooners though...Maybe.

Until tonight...GO BUCKS and BOOMER SOONER (oops I said it)!
-Matt

Austin day 2...

Can I just say that it feels good to laugh again, it feels good to just step back and not feel like I am hiding anymore. I think I had forgotten what it was like to be ministered to by God and just to enjoy life. I am so glad that I chose to put aside my pride and get the help I needed through Mark Yaconelli's critical concerns course. I have decided that I am not going to hide behind a mask anymore. I had this crazy misconception that as a youth pastor I had to have everything figured out...But you know what, I don't and that is okay! I have learned that it is through that weakness that God can use me most. I finally understand why the Lord started out my week with messages from our speaker at retreat about being a "wounded healer." It is okay to be in the storm. Mark ended the session today by having us actually "experience" the passage by getting in the boat. We were either going to be Peter, who wanted out of the storm so bad that he asked God to call him to Him, or we were going to be the disciples who stayed in the boat. I wanted so bad to be Peter and leave the boat, but I felt like I was supposed to stay in the boat, in the midst of the storm for a while longer...Learning to trust the Lord.

Speaking of trust, I am convinced now more than ever that trust is the lesson the Lord is wanting me to learn this weekend. I really feel like I have dealt with the Lord in my own heart and now it is time to simply trust Him for the outcome. Everything that was said today pointed right to that. Buster Soaries spoke about astonishing faith and how I must think of what God can do in ways that I could never imagine-meaning He may do something He has never done IF I trust Him (all things are possible with Him). God specializes in things that have never happened before...Not that I am some great person, but God can do something in the lives of my young people that I would never expect if I will just get out of the way and trust that HE can do it better than I can. Mike Pilavachi reaffirmed that tonight by talking about how Jesus did wondrous miracles, but He did through experiences-successes AND failures, and often more through the latter. He made an interesting point that stood out (actually it may just have been the way I interpreted it) when he said that if everything is going the way we want it to, we can't learn. I guess it is time that I step back and realize that maybe my failures are just ways that the Lord is trying to mold and shape me into the minister than He needs me to be.

The final thing that really got me tonight when Mike was speaking was the concept of "that youth group kid." We all know who they are, they are the one that we are praying will go to another church because they are a distraction or burden in ours. I have to admit, I have prayed that in every church I have been at. I was really convicted of that tonight and I need to apologize to some kids who I have wronged-because I should have been praying that God would use them AS THEY ARE to reach others in the kingdom. There are a few of these kids who I have pushed and challenged and confronted in ways that I shouldn't have all in the name of trying to help them become all they can be with God...What I forgot was that they are on a journey as well, and God can get their attention and use them just as they are right now.

So a lot has been happening, God has really been dealing with me. I feel like if I learn nothing else this weekend I have already learned so much, but I know that with three more days left there are more lessons to be learned.

Thanks Lord for opening my eyes and showing me what I need to work on, forgive me for forgetting how to listen and turning away to myself when I should have been turning to you. It is not about me, but about you! Help me to get out of the way and let you be the God that you are. I am not an expert, I am only a broken and willing vessel willing to be used by you. Help me to minister in spite of myself...Amen

See ya tomorrow!
-Matt

Austin day 1

Okay, so obviously I made it to Austin...Needless to say, for once mapquest was right and the trip was a little longer than I thought. However, so far it has proven well worth it. Even though I had the opportunity, I honestly couldn't sleep in this morning, I think deep down I was anticipating what would come today.

This year I am not alone at the convention, I brought Scott with me. He and his wife are my true youth sponsors, they will do anything you ask whenever needed and lift Megan and I up daily in prayer. I honestly do not know what I would do without their help, so I am glad he will have the opportunity to be fed this year as well.

I am not going to lie. I have been saying for a while that I would talk about how ministry is going, but I have been putting it off, because I wanted to put on a good front that everything was okay. Honestly for a long while I have felt like I have been dying inside, and the only thing that has kept me going in youth ministry is the encouragement that this convention brings every year,along with the occasional blessing that someone passes on to me at the least expected time. Last year was a life changing experience, but this year to me was going to be make or break. I was ready to give up. I have felt like I have been pushing and pushing without any results and have felt attacked by parents and apathy among the youth ministry students and leaders. So I really had been contemplating whether or not I was cut out for this...Or whether it was even worth it or of I was God's man or was just in God's way. There was a lot of "me" and a lot of sulking and complaining...I truly had developed a "poor me" mentality.

So with all that said, this convention has already been a wake up call. I chose to take Mark Yaconelli's critical concerns course called "Becoming the beloved-healing your identity in Christ." Obviously, the word healing stood out the most to me because I have felt broken for sometime now. I had the chance to take this last year and honestly felt like God wanted me to do the soul care option last year, but I was hesitant because that kind of stuff was just not for me, and I was coming to learn new stuff, not get away and "retreat" to grow spiritually. This year though, I couldn't get past the fact that I needed this aspect of the convention this year and I have not been disappointed. After today I already feel like God is working and showing me more of who He is, who I am through Him, and who He wants me to be.

This convention for me will be a "Sabbath." I am resting, and focusing on nothing but the Lord. I am shutting my phone off (except when I talk to my wife) and I am spending more time with him and learning who I am through me. The biggest thing that the Lord has shown me so far through this "retreat" is that it is not about me...But about Him. He doesn't need me for His work to get done. It is a blessing to me that He has chosen to use me, but He could do it without me. I think I have spent too much time making the ministry mine, and not enough making it His.

I am learning how to step aside and allow the Lord to love me. I get so caught up in what people think about me, that I miss what really matters. He has gifted me, He has made me unique and all He wants is for me to offer myself to Him to be used.

The strangest thing though, that has perhaps challenged me the most is the issue of "suffering." I have done a lot of whining to those who are close to me. I think even though I put on a pretty good mask of being all together I have not been a good example to those around me because I have been negative. Because of my hurt I was trying to hurt others and pretend that my life was so bad and that I was the victim. I was whining and wanted everyone to pat me on the back and say "it's not your fault, it's okay." What really challenged me though was the thought that suffering is a part of ministry. I do not want to put myself on a pedestal, and make myself look like I am God's chosen one, because I am not anyone special...Anyone who is in ministry suffers at some time. These recent times have just been mine and I wanted to be the victim. The interesting thought though is that maybe the Lord wants us to suffer...So He can suffer with us. This was a shocking thought for me...We're not to be the victims, but to rejoice in those times and realize that Jesus suffers with us. Look at the disciples, the closer they got to Jesus, the tougher times got. It is all about trust and surrendering it to Him. I think for too long, I have made this my ministry and not allowed it to be the Lord's. I am doing the best I can, but I need to make it His ministry. Times will be tough, but He has placed me there for a reason and in the midst of trials I need to trust Jesus and not Matt.

This convention has already been life changing to me and will be more and more everyday as I seek to draw closer to Jesus. I'll close with this...During one of the contemplative prayer times we drew a picture and colored it. My picture was of a landscape with a river running through it and a big oak on top of a hill. The river had red running through it to represent the wounds I have felt with broken relationships, harsh words, and more. The tree was barren, but with roots digging deep into the ground and some new life growing on it. There was one lone tombstone on the horizon and the sun was setting in the background. The tombstone was my "self" dying and the new growth represented the growth that has occurred and continues to occur as I try to find less of me and more of Him. I think I am at a crossroads, and am nearing a time of radical growth in my life. My only prayer is that there will be less of me and more of Him on a daily basis.

I am so glad I came...Even though at the beginning I felt like I was crawling, I now feel like I am walking with the Lord as he nurses me back to a spiritual "health" that I have missed. Times have been tough, and may remain that way for some time. BUT, the Lord is faithful, He suffers with me and I know I am not alone. Thanks YS for ministering to me and offering this convention!

More to come as the weekend goes on!

Seeking new life,
-Matt

On the road again...

So the last few days have been interesting...Started out Monday afternoon at our district's Pastors/wives retreat in Panama City Beach, FL (yeah suffering for Jesus) and now I am in happy Austin, TX (DOWN WITH THE HORNS!!!) for the Austin Youth Specialties convention. I'm gonna plan on blogging about the event as I go through it starting tomorrow with my critical concerns course and then more as the week goes on. I'll also try to get back in with my thoughts soon about the other new shows I've checked out, "Ugly Betty," and "Friday Night Lights." Off to YS to recoup and be refreshed!

-Matt

Go see this movie!

If you have not seen the movie "Facing the Giants" yet, I would highly recommend going to see it. It is playing in select theaters and most cities will have at least one theater that shows it. If you are not aware of this movie it received a PG-13 meeting because the ACLU and the MPAA felt that it was too blatantly Christian and offensive to those who are not believers. If you don't know the backstory behind this movie, it was made by a church in Georgia. The main character who also wrote and directed the film is the media pastor at his church. It is a great story that will inspire you to stick it out through tough times and honestly has a decent storyline. Being a movie buff I found that it had a little bit of a slow start, but once it got going it was a great film...And the football footage isn't bad either. This movie was funded entirely by the church itself and was finally picked up by Samuel Goldwyn pictures to be distributed. Take your youth groups to see it and encourage your churches to go see it as well. It didn't quite make the top 10 this weekend, but it was number 12 so it should be around for another week or so. If you want more information about the movie you can find it at www.facingthegiants.com

-Matt