Thursday, November 30, 2006

I hate goodbyes...

The title says it all, I hate goodbyes...Plain and simple, they suck. There is no way to avoid it, and because that word seems so "permanent" to me I tried to stop saying it when Megan and I were dating. We wouldn't say "goodbye" we would say "see you soon," acknowledging that even though we were a thousand miles apart we would see each other again soon. I even try to say it with people that I see on a regular basis, but a lot of times I'll say "see you in a bit," which used to upset some of my friends because they knew it would be a long time before we would see each other again.

So I have gotten pretty good at avoiding the word goodbye, until yesterday. When I dropped my folks off at the airport I said goodbye-I didn't do it intentionally, it just came out that way. I know I'll see them again in three weeks for Christmas, but it still stunk having to say goodbye and I was even angrier at myself for using that phrase. I wonder if it was a subliminal way of admitting how hard it is each time they leave. I have always been close to my family, as is Megan with hers. When we made the decision to move here almost 2 years ago it was not an easy decision. There are times when I hate the fact that we are so far apart...I wasn't able to say goodbye to my grandma one last time before she died, my parents aren't getting any younger (but I don't anticipate them going anywhere any time soon), and my baby niece is growing up and I miss getting to see all of her "firsts" since she is the first grandchild for our family cell.

I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that we were called to be here and God reaffirmed that call in October, but there are times when it is tough to be so far away. There are times when the enemy sweeps in and I catch myself questioning God, I know I shouldn't but it is hard not to sometimes. So pray for me, as the holidays are one of those times...We only have a limited amount of time with family, we have to balance between the two, and then it seems to end and before we know it we are saying "see you soon" again knowing that it might me as much as six months before we do see each other again.

God is good though, and it is in these times that He stretches us most and pulls us closer to Him. I don't know about you, but I am glad that he didn't say "goodbye" after He ascended into heaven...He is coming back, He hasn't left us, and there will be a time when we are all together forever if we know Him. I think that is one of the things that helps me to hold on during these tough times because I know that He didn't say goodbye, but rather "see you soon." I look forward to the time I get to spend with family, no matter how short of a time it is, and I look forward to the day that we get to see Jesus again as well.

Just a little sentimental rant...Any ideas to help with the time apart with family?

1 comment:

Eric and Kendra said...

This is the first holiday season that we have been near family since 1997, so I know exactly how you are feeling Matt. I wish I had some wisdom to pass onto you, but what I can do is pray for you and Meg.