Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Saying goodbye to grandma...

It is with a heavy heart and sadness that I write today's blog. I had to say goodbye to my grandma this morning. I initially started to say goodbye to her 3 years ago when they diagnosed her with bone cancer, but she fought through it and made it through several milestones that I wanted her to be at such as my ordination and getting married. There were times that I thought she would pass, but each time she beat every obstacle and seemed to come back for more. I was beginning to think that she was invincible. A couple of weeks ago, she informed us that they wanted her to go on kidney dialysis, and she was not going to do it. At that point and time I knew it wouldn't be long. The funny thing was, I had had a dream that she died on our birthday the night before i found this information out (we share a birthday and this year would have been a milestone for both of us). She had decided that she was going to not do dialysis or chemo any longer because her quality of life was getting worse with each day. She was ready to go home and be with the Lord when it was time. The doctors had said though that things might not have been as bad as originally thought and she might be okay for a while longer. So even though I was preparing to say goodbye, I didn't quite think it would be this soon. She went into the hospital yesterday with trouble breathing and retaining fluid real bad. I didn't want to admit it, but I had a hunch this might be it. Knowing this I prayed that if she was going to suffer the Lord would just take her home. I guess He answered my prayers. Last night she was resting comfortably and went to sleep. She woke up long enough to talk a little bit to my Uncle who was by her side and then she went to sleep again...this time though she woke up with Jesus standing there arms wide open welcoming her home. It is hard to say goodbye, and I will miss her, but I know she is in Heaven with grandpa again worshipping God for eternity together. We had a great relationship, I wish I could have seen her face to face one last time, which wasn't possible since I am in Florida, but I got to talk to her right before all this happened and she said she was ready no matter what happened. She always knew what to say, when to say it and was always there when I needed her most. I'll miss you grandma and I'll see you one day when I get there.

1 comment:

Dakotaranger said...

My sympathies to you and your family